After Sushant Singh Rajput’s sudden demise people are now coming out from the shell and talking about depression and suicidal thoughts. Recently, Bollywood’s veteran actor Manoj Bajpaee has opened up on his struggling days. He also talked about having suicidal thought s after getting rejected for three times straight.
While speaking to Humans of Bombay, he shared that being a farmer’s son it was not easy to achieve this success or even enter the entertainment industry. However, his father was quite supportive when he shared that he wants to pursue his career in acting. He further revealed that he was rejected by National School of Drama (NSD) three times and this led him into depression and he started having suicidal thoughts.
Manoj thanks his fans for being there and taking him out of the dark phase. He said, “I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me and not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted.”
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“I’m a farmer’s son; I grew up in a village in Bihar with 5 siblings–we went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny. But I couldn’t afford to dream & continued my studies. Still, my mind refused to focus on anything else, so at 17, I left for DU. There, I did theatre but my family had no idea. Finally, I wrote a letter to dad–he wasn’t angry & even sent me Rs.200 to cover my fees! People back home called me ‘good for nothing’ but I turned a blind eye. I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi–Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted. That year, I was at a chai shop when Tigmanshu came looking for me on his khatara scooter–Shekhar Kapur wanted to cast me in Bandit Queen! So I felt I was ready & moved to Mumbai. Initially, it was tough–I rented a chawl with 5 friends & looked for work, but got no roles. Once, an AD tore my photo & I’ve lost 3 projects in a day. I was even told to ‘get out’ after my 1st shot. I didn’t fit the ideal ‘hero’ face–so they thought I’d never make it to the big screen. All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs.1500 per episode–my first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’. That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knew…I was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams–when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else.” -- HOB with @sonylivindia brings to you the story of Manoj Bajpayee, whose life has come full circle. To watch his award winning performance in Bhonsle, click on the link in bio!
Talking about his struggling days in Mumbai he said that even a vada pav seemed costly and paying rent of chawl was also difficult for him. He recalls, once an AD tore his photo in front of him and within a day he lost three projects. Also, he was once told to ‘get out’ after his first shot. Manoj then went on to talk about how he got his first break in Bollywood, After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with Satya.”
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He concluded by saying that when it comes to turning dreams into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matter is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy and nothing else.
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