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The BS of Bassi: 5 jobs tailored for Delhi's Police Commissioner post-retirement

Trinaa Prasad | Updated on: 14 February 2017, 5:42 IST

Where the mouth is with a firm filter, and the head has a gerua headband, into that purgatory of intolerance, my Father, do not let my country awake. #SorryTagore

Bhim Sain Bassi, Delhi's current Commissioner of Police, is a name that evokes fear in the hearts of those still delusional enough to speak their minds. In the last few days, the country has been witnessing something that the media calls a #SaffronEmergency. In the last few days, ABVP has disrupted a public meeting inside Jawaharlal Nehru University, and resorted to violence, manipulation of public sentiment and abusive name-calling.

But then that is what ABVP is best at. Which then begs the question: what is Delhi Police best at? Jumping the gun? Being unable to protect a man under custody? Moving in slo-mo as a mob attacks journalists? Vehemently denying anything and everything that points towards its incompetency? Arresting people based on evidence they'd rather keep top secret? The answer is probably all of the above.

Keeping these glorious traits in mind, we've decided to help Delhi Police's top cop, BS Bassi, (who is about to retire on February 29th) with alternate job suggestions.

  • Social Media Manager, Delhi Police

With over 18.3K followers, he is more than qualified. For those of you who've not kept a tab on his Twitter account, here's what you've missed: Bassi loves Delhi Police. Like truly, madly, irrevocably; and he's not shy about it either.

Bassi tweets

Quick to come to Delhi Police's rescue on social media, loud with his praise, and scornful of those who criticise, maybe Bassi will be able to do what Mumbai Police's current Social Media team has excelled at: give it some swag.

via GIPHY

  • JNU Vice Chancellor

One thing is for sure. Going by the prompt arrival of the police on the university campus, the quick arrest of Kanhaniya and the constant personal tirade Bassi has kept up since #JNURow began, proves that Bassi has finally found what others call 'love'. 'Controlling' the 'anti-national' students of JNU, is his true calling. Please, can we make this happen? #RenameItBassiUniversity

via GIPHY

  • National Human Rights Commission - Chairperson

Since he firmly believes in the rights of people - in an individual's right to freedom of speech, of expression, of dissent, he would be a good fit as the head of India's Human Rights Commission. Unbiased, open-minded, unprejudiced, and completely coherent in his speeches, Bassi would be an excellent successor to current Chairman, Justice Chandramauli Kumar Prasad. #LogicThatBlowsYourMind

via GIPHY

  • Press Council of India Chairman

Bassi loves journalists. He happily allows journalists to do their job as long as they break a few bones. He probably thinks presstitutes is a cute nickname. Make Bassi the Chairman of the Press Council. #BeLikeBassi #YoBassiSoCool

via GIPHY



  • Governor of Arunachal Pradesh

Of course there are reports doing the rounds that Bassi might become the next Information Commissioner of India due to his sound understanding of the politics of India. And since that is the case, why not also give him the governorship of Arunachal Pradesh?

The present governor JP Rajkhowa will soon be done with installing a BJP government in Itanagar, and he might as well move to another opposition ruled North eastern state with similar possibilities. We do not doubt Bassi's talents, given his stellar performance in defending RSS headquarters in Delhi just a few weeks back, with all his might.

via GIPHY

-- Edited by Durga M Sengupta

First published: 17 February 2016, 8:14 IST