#BJPCountsCondoms, the social media trend that was waiting to happen

Sound the gongs, the 'condom scam' has arrived. The much discussed #JNURow took a new turn when BJP MLA from Rajasthan's Alwar district Gyandev Ahuja publically declared that he knew exactly how many condoms were used in JNU. How a man from Rajasthan, that too an MLA, is aware of the 'exact number' remained a mystery till social media solved it. It seems, #BJPCountsCondoms.

Gyandev's (#LOL, irony much?) full statement as translated by The Times of India, says:

"More than 10,000 butts of cigarettes and 4,000 pieces of beedis are found. 50,000 big and small pieces of bones are found. 2,000 wrappers of chips and namkeen are found, and so are 3,000 used condoms - the misdeeds they commit with our sisters and daughters there. And 500 used contraceptive injections are also found."

And this ladies and gentlemen is precisely why inculcating good hobbies at a young age is a must. Such a terrible use of the taxpayers money and resources by a public servant. Not to mention the terrible backache that must follow such rigorous counting by the minister and his aides. Because how else do you decide on such precise numbers unless you've overseen the counting personally, right?

While talking about the madness that is the JNU campus, Ahuja said, "students are mostly found taking drugs after 8 pm inside the campus. Those studying in JNU are not children, but parents of two children. They indulge in peace protests in the mornings and during the nights, they perform obscene dance."

Moving on to the deeper problem here: do you think BJP MLA Ahuja has unwittingly uncovered the most unsanskari cult of all time? The red flags are all there, fluttering madly in the saffron haze of unholy anti-nationalism.

Some of these seditious non-children practising safe sex by using exactly 3000 condoms, the others are parents of children. Post 8 pm, the campus lives a frenzied haze of drugs, and indulge in nude dancing. How does all of this not sound like a cult to you? *cough*Eyes Wide Shut*cough*

Pretty sure all that obscene dancing happens around the fire, that there is a full moon ritual involved, and masks and chants are a part of their lives as well. Social media, being slower than we are, hasn't quite reached that conclusion yet but it will. Soon.

Here's what the people have to say:

Poor quality control by condom manufacturers resulted in High quality Condom counting person#BJPCountsCondoms

- Engineer Shareef (@ishareef639) February 23, 2016

What is BJP trying to say? "Abki Baar, Condom Ginne wali sarkaar?"#BJPCountsCondoms

- Vinod Mehta (@DrunkVinodMehta) February 23, 2016

Chanakya knew #BJPCountsCondoms ..🙏🏻 pic.twitter.com/dltoKrw4Cr

- MC Arnab (@ShankhPaad) February 23, 2016

Swachh Bharat taken to new heights. BJP MLA takes to cleaning condoms, beer bottles & cigarette stubs from JNU.#BJPCountsCondoms

- Vinay Dokania (@vinaydokania) February 23, 2016

.@smritiirani, this is what happens when research has no funding. #BJPCountsCondoms pic.twitter.com/EReqhvKUb0

- Raj Das (@beyalora) February 23, 2016

JNU students drink and use condoms: BJP's Gyan Dev Ahuja. ROFL! Looks like "anti-nationals" have all the fun! #BJPCountsCondoms

- Sagarika Ghose (@sagarikaghose) February 23, 2016

#BJPCountsCondoms not knowing what else to do with them

- Hartosh Singh Bal (@HartoshSinghBal) February 23, 2016

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Edited by Aishwarya Yerra