We Indians suffer from a holier-than-thou complex. Most of us ooh-aah and haaw at politicians and their ilk for indulging in acts of corruption. But are we, the mango people, any better? Given a chance, most of us like to pay and get away, than do what's right.
Following the rules seems to have skipped our DNA. We love to live life dangerously, on the shady precipice between a challan and tu-janta-hai-mera-baap-kaun-hai.
So intolerant of everyone else's personal views, and yet so tolerant of our own vices. Think you do not fall in this bracket? But, of course you do.
But even if you deny it to the Mars, Buddha and back, you are guilty of at least one of the many 'small' acts of corruption listed below:
1. When you pay off a policeman to let you go when caught without a helmet or seatbelt, did you think it's testimony of how cool you are? #NoMoreDhoom
2. When you spot a long queue and you pay off the first peon you can find to do your job on the side. Jumping the line doesn't make you a saint, either. #QueueRuleToda
3. What do you do when you want a government document made? After the many cups of caffeine it takes to get ready for the painstakingly slow task ahead, we pay off the first person who says they can get the work done for us. Disagree? Okay. Answer this:
Where do Passports, Aadhar Cards, Pan Cards come from?
a) From their actual offices - after filling up forms, handing over relevant documents, paying what was requisite and no more
b) From the broker who took money to get it done for you
c) They drop from heaven. Speedpost from God.
4. Have you never paid extra to get gas cylinders from the black market? No? Do you have a degree in how-to-lie-with-a-straight-face? #LiarLiarPantsOnFire
5. Meter tampering! Aaaaah. The chip on most shoulders is a gigantic bill from the electricity board. Never reset or tampered with the meter so that it shows a lower reading? Excellent. One sin less to deal with. #ApnaSapnaMoneyMoney
6. Drinking and driving. Hear that sound? It's the collective groan from all deluded enough to believe in their Hulk-like capacity to 'handle their drinks'. As if you weren't breaking the law enough, you believe the way to deal with this is to pay off a cop. #SuchASmartie
7. Donations - if you have to pay your way into an educational institution, what's the point of getting an education? #DegreeWapsi
8. How we get government jobs? We pay. And what a truly lovely way to become a part of the country's most important decision-making organisation. #ShaabashIndia
Still think you're not corrupt? Still think you've never done anything illegal? You've got several more thinks coming, then. Today, on World Anti-Corruption Day, do your bit to make our country a little bit less corrupt. Deal ya no deal?