From loving porn to faking orgasms, 7 'deadly sins' women never talk about

1. Yes, we masturbate.

Masturbation is glorious. Yes, women like to work magic on themselves as much as men do, and the sheer joy it brings is unparalleled.

However, gripped within the iron fist of patriarchy, women have for the longest time been deemed as sexless creatures. The fact that women too have sexual urges, and therefore the need to satisfy themselves, has made it to the mainstream discourse only in recent times.

An alarmingly large number of women have never had an orgasm, and aren't aware of how to help themselves. Worse yet is the fact that the traditional societal values are so deeply ingrained in us, that for a large number of Indian women anything remotely sexual is reserved for after marriage, and for the purpose of procreation.

And because of the taboo attached to the act of touching oneself, those women who do, often cringe their noses, and trash the act as being ganda for fear of being judged by the parameters society has thrust upon us.

It's time we embrace our sexuality, and explore our own selves, unabashedly.

2. We're not all virgins

This one's a no-brainer, but women enjoy having sex just as much as men do. And we're not all going to wait till after marriage to do it. Deal with it. No matter how much the log kya kahenge brigade faints into a collective flutter...

Those of us who have embraced our sexual selves and aren't afraid to explore, are labelled as sluts, or constantly judged for being women of 'loose morals'. This skewed perception of morality often comes in the way of women talking about being sexually active.

3. We fake orgasms

While there are men who know how to work their magic, they are far outnumbered by those who really don't have the slightest clue about how to go about pleasuring a woman. More often than not, sex for a man becomes about finishing, while concerns about your lady-friend being on the same page as you, takes a backseat.

Bad sex, and the fragile male ego (because we're nice) make us fake orgasms. And yes, it is problematic.

Not all men are averse to feedback, and communication is of primary importance. If more women take charge and are unafraid of clearly stating what gets them going in bed, we could do away with bad sex, and fake orgasms.

4. We're feminists (never burnt a bra though)

That, or we're ignorant. Even in the 21st century, with the fourth wave of feminism raging, it's a little annoying when you encounter Millennial women declaring that they aren't feminists. Do you even know what feminism means, girl?

Lack of awareness, and a skewed understanding of what feminism embodies, has made a lot of women wary of being associated with the 'F' word. If you believe that you, as a woman, deserve equal opportunities as your fellow male being, you're a feminist. Embrace it.

Men-bashing however, is not feminism. If you're screaming your lungs out about how men suck and women rule, you're not a feminist.

5. We watch porn

Yes, women get off on watching porn as well. Except, for the fear of being judged, or being outed to the sanskaari society we inhabit, we choose to remain mum about it, and sometimes pretend to be dissing it. Tastefully made porn is sexually appealing to all of (wo)mankind, irrespective of gender.

But porn is no longer the realm of the dudes. We've joined the bandwagon, and know exactly what we're looking for. We have our preferences, we know our keywords, and the choicest sites where we can find our sexy jam.

6. We have been sexually abused

Incidences of sexual abuse is as rampant as the culture of shame and silence it is enveloped in. Victim blaming is the norm when it comes to cases of sexual assault, even in this day and age, and it is the culture of shame that comes in the way of women speaking up against abuse.

As children, the trauma of being sexually abused by a close family member, or a figure of respect is magnified by the confusion it creates. Fearing disbelief and judgement, children often end up bearing the burden of their secrets, until they find someone they can confide in.

7. We have aborted our babies

In a society where pre-marital sex is deemed immoral, an unmarried woman undergoing an abortion is nothing short of blasphemy. Ask any unmarried woman who has had to visit the doctor's clinic to terminate her pregnancy, or even those at the neighbourhood chemist's picking up the morning-after pill.

We're so afraid of being doled out liberal doses of judgement for choices we make about our own lives and our own bodies, we choose to remain silent instead.