As the joke called demonetisation gets worse, the jokes about it get better
Thanks to demonetisation we finally know what India will look like if a zombie epidemic ever hits. Stores are closed, roads are less full and hordes of people with vacant, hungry expressions wander the streets looking for working ATMs. Communication has also reduced to grunts, shrugs, screams and moans. If the starving masses don't get money to feed themselves soon, we'll soon be adding 'eating brains' to the zombie apocalypse comparison.
Yes, demonetisation has hit and it's hit hard. Based on how pro-demonetisation you are, this move either means that Modi loves us all and wants to give us each Rs 15 lakhs or that Modi hates us, drinks the blood of orphans and has his clothes made from the skin of poor. People who don't hold such extreme view points have apparently not discovered social media, so no one knows what they think.
Also read -Modi's cheerleaders: Bollywood needs to shut up about demonetisation
But whether you're for the move or against it, the odds are that your wallet is lighter, your knees weaker and you've learned to overcome a lifetime of conditioning to stand in a queue. While that last part will serve you well, the odds are that you're not too fond of the former two and you'll be even less so the longer this drags on. Still, complaining will not change anything wake the "If the army can..." trolls from their saffron slumber.
So, in lieu of complaining, those unhappy with demonetisation have been forced to laugh at their struggles instead. And, while the joke that is demonetisation gets less funny with each passing day, the jokes about it only seem to get funnier. Here's a round up of some of the funnier humour that has filled the vacuum left by the Rs 500 and 1,000 notes we once knew:
Demonetisation in the time of the Mahabharata:
Gandhari: Sent my 100 sons to stand in ATM queue *winks*
— Stereotypewriter (@babumoshoy) November 17, 2016
Kunti: Withdrew Rs 12.5 lakh for Draupadi's wedding *winks* #DeMonetisation
There are so many queues for ATMs it's only fitting we got a Whose Line Is It Anyway joke:
Before and after the ATM wait:
Pic 1 : When you get in the ATM queue for cash
— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) November 12, 2016
Pic 2 : after 4 hours still standing #DeMonetisation pic.twitter.com/3yt5y3Gpgi
The old lady you see in the queue used to be a young woman when she joined the line. Queue ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. #DeMonetisation
— Stereotypewriter (@babumoshoy) November 12, 2016
One happens because you're too fast and the other because you weren't fast enough:
While you worry about your wallet, spare a thought for the ATM guards.
Security guards outside ATMs are like pic.twitter.com/NFtX45jwXT
— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) November 8, 2016
But don't worry too much, because they're are finally getting all the girls:
Girl "say those 3 magical words"
— Rofl Gandhi (@RoflGandhi_) November 17, 2016
ATM Guard "cash aa gaya " #DeMonetisation
Meanwhile, we wait for the government to sort things out:
Arun Jaitley pumping cash in the country by trying to fit in ₹2,000 notes in the existing uncalibrated ATMs. #जनता_त्रस्त_भ्रष्टाचारी_मस्त pic.twitter.com/2BxreUqeAK
— Shirish Kunder (@ShirishKunder) November 13, 2016
But while we wait the line between patience and patient is getting thinner by the day:
Many have become patient. Some have even died. https://t.co/dvrnGeGjSA
— Shirish Kunder (@ShirishKunder) November 12, 2016