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Wedding heebie-jeebies that you need to overcome

Namita S Kalla | Updated on: 23 December 2017, 17:12 IST

You have always wanted to cap that special relationship with a fairy-tale marriage. You have waited for this day ever since you found your true love. And now when the D- day is soon to arrive: you are enthusiastic and ecstatic to tie that nuptial knot. But at the same time you learn about the jitters that are a result of a phobia related to marriage. Here are some of the common fears every couple experiences prior to marriage.

Responsibility

The initial attraction goes for a toss, when couples wake up to the reality that marriage comes with a bunch of responsibilities. The fear that their carefree attitude will no more be entertained, and may even be objected to, takes a toll on them. This is when couples need to understand that everything comes for a price, and marriage does tag along responsibilities which actually is   the price one has to pay for one's love. The best thing is not to make the responsibility sound like a burden, instead, behave like a grown up and get ready to embrace your new life.

 

Commitment

The idea of spending the rest of the life with one person that you love is both exciting as well as frightening. Commitment is one such thing that dreads lovers quite often. And when the fear overshadows the excitement, the couples should sit together and iron out their fears. 
 

Compatibility

It is ubiquitously known that fights, spats, arguments et al are a major part of married life. And this fact gives birth to nervousness and anxiety. The feeling of not having like mindedness in the long term is damaging. Understand that as couples, you are more than friends and lovers. 
And when there will be differences, you will have to together sort them out, and sometimes live with them to paint the big picture called marriage in a better way.
 
 

Adjustment

Be it the man or the woman in the marriage, both have to make several adjustments in order to accommodate the other in his/her life. The fear of not being able to adjust to an all new lifestyle is certainly killing, but when one looks at the brighter side called love, the word adjustment doesn't sound bad at all. Don't push the adjustment part, just take it in your stride. Also, it is always preferable to discuss what all adjustments you are capable of making, and how with time you will try to adjust a little more without having to give up on your individuality.

 

Intimacy

Not everybody is excited about intimacy in a relationship. Some actually dread the three letter word called sex. The fear can be due to some misconceptions, a childhood experience, or lack of knowledge. But remember, there is nothing you cannot overcome. Talk to a friend or an elderly person at home ( mother or aunt) to lighten your pile of doubts. If the fear is worse, consult a sexologist or a shrink. Even better, put that faith in your partner and take him/her along.

 

Being under Control

One of the most common fears is that of being under someone's control, and letting that person invade your personal space. Both men and women fear giving up on their freedom and individuality. The best way to get rid of this feeling is to talk it out to your would be partner. Convey that you love your space, and will respect his/her space, and yet be together at all times. It is important that couples realise that each one has his/her mindset and a way of handling things and situations, and should therefore respect the other instead of controlling their lives.

 

First published: 23 December 2017, 17:12 IST
 
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