Engineer's Day 2016 is being celebrated today on 15 September. The day is dedicated to Mokshagundam Visvesvaraya who was an Indian engineer and scholar. Visvesvaraya is famous for his contribution towards harnessing water resources.
Here are some funny jokes that will certainly crack up all engineers:
Why do JAVA programmers wear glasses?
Answer: They can't see SHARP.
From Java to C#
Engineering is like a typical Indian public toilet.
People outside are desperate to get in and people inside are dying to finish and come out!
Teacher: How to write four between five?
Medical student: Nice joke.
MBA student: not possible
Engineering student: F(IV)E
A Software Engineer is smoking
Girl: Didn't u see the health warning?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings
Wikipedia: Enter a word and I have pages to tell.
Google: Enter a query and I have unlimited ways to answer.
Internet: Without me, you both are Nothing.
Computer: Without me, you all are useless.
Electricity: Keep Talking, guys!
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Wife (to her software engineer husband): Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"
The husband comes back with six cartons of milk.
Wife: Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
Husband: They had eggs.
A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
So, which platform are you working on ?
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Jokes sourced from Quora, Facebook, and Twitter