Former Indian cricketer Praveen Kumar opens up about fame and depression

Former Indian cricketer Praveen Kumar spills the beans about fame and depression in a recent interview and the Uttar Pradesh cricketer took the lid off that at one point, he dicided to take his own life.

Praveen Kumar, featured in 68 ODIs, 6 Tests and 10 T20Is for the national side, stated in the interview that he wanted to end his life with his revolver in a highway to Haridwar but he dicided to not go ahead with it after seeing a picture of his children.

“I told myself, ‘Kya hai yeh sab? Bas khatam karte hain (What’s all this? Let me just end it)’,” Kumar told The Indian Express.

“I realised I can’t do this to my phool-jaise bachche (innocent children), put them through this hell. I turned back,” he added.

The 33-year-old has featured for various teams in the Indian Premier League (IPL) but he is battling depression and he expressed disappointment over the fact that mental health issues are not addressed well in India.

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“India mein depression concept hee kahan hota hai (Who understands depression in India)? Nobody knows about it and in Meerut, certainly not. I had no one to talk to, felt almost constant chid-chidapan (irritation). As a fast bowler, I had to do a lot of thinking (to out-smart batsmen). I told the counsellor I was unable to switch off thoughts,” Kumar explained.

“I had been bowling so well. In England, everybody praised me. I was dreaming about a Test career. Suddenly, gaya sab kuchch (it was all gone). I got the feeling everybody thought PK was retired, not free. Does no one know the Uttar Pradesh Ranji team doesn’t have a bowling coach? I should be with the team and not be sitting here in Meerut,” Kumar said.

“I used to fear myself a few months ago, apne aap sey darr tha. That’s what bad time does. If someone didn’t answer my call, I would feel terrible, neglected. It killed me inside. Thankfully, that dark phase is behind me. Koi nahin, PK phir waapis aayega (Don’t worry, PK will come back),” Kumar said.

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