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Can't make this stuff up: sex doll mistaken for angel in Indonesia

Catch Team | Updated on: 10 February 2017, 1:50 IST

There's a new reason to visit Indonesia - a a sex-doll dressed in a hijab in police custody.

Because it's clear the planet hasn't yet hit Peak Lunacy.

This March, a full-size inflatable sex doll was discovered by a 21-year-old fisherman off a small island in Indonesia. Because the discovery occured barely three days after a solar eclipse in the region, another fisherman - Pardin - thought it was a 'fallen angel' with divine capabilities. Pardin took the doll to his home, Kalupapi village. He dressed the doll up in a hijab and carried it around on his boats.

Local police chief Heru Pramukarno is quoted as saying that, "We were hearing many stories, such as that the 'fallen angel' was crying when she was discovered. When our officers arrived they saw that the 'fallen angel' was just a doll, it was a sex toy."

AFP quotes the police chief saying, "They have no internet, they don't know what a sex toy is."

(Well the Xi people in The Gods Must Be Crazy didn't know what to do with a Coke bottle that fell off an aeroplane either. Among other things, they tried blowing it to see if it made music. At least the doll doesn't need to be blown.)

The doll is now in police custody, but we have some burning questions that must still be answered:

  1. Which ship did the doll get off from? (#SorryNotSorry)

  2. Did the doll voluntarily embrace Islam? You can't force a majoritarian religion on anyone. Least of all on an inanimate object that unselfishly exists for your pleasure.

  3. If the doll is covered in a hijab, is anal sex prohibited?

  4. Could this doll be a possible inspiration for Samuel Taylor Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner? Did the sailor in the poem come across her on his voyage?

  5. Was a burqini also provided along with the hijab?

  6. Was she denied Sex on the Beach?

Frankly, if an angel with divine superpowers is what they want, they don't need to look at the beach. All that's needed is a vision of Taher Shah. Though if it's some other service that's expected, Shah probably won't be able to see you, er, eye to eye.

First published: 4 May 2016, 11:51 IST
 
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