8 reasons Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6 'Beyond The Wall' is a joke
What makes David Benioff and D. B. Weiss' Game of Thrones such a riveting watch is its ability to show how pointless the game itself can be. In Season 7 Episode 6, titled Beyond the Wall, Beric Dondarrion gets to relay a perfectly quotable dialogue that describes this ultimate truth – death is the final enemy.
Never mind that Beric has beaten this enemy one too many times. And never mind that the episode, rather ironically, fails to stay true to the one dialogue it was marketed on.
The sixth episode, directed by Alan Taylor, is a heartwarming watch, what with the motley group beyond the wall exchanging their little stories. But it doesn't deserve the applause it's receiving on social media. There are some gaping holes in the story, absurd quick fixes, and a host of other problems.
1. Arya kidding me?
We were all very happy for Arya Stark when she decided to leave for Winterfell. Killing the queen can wait, we thought, for this poor girl has been travelling the world alone. She could use some family time.
And boy, were we wrong. This new Jaqen H'gaar-esque Arya has inherited her mentor's patronising tone along with his killing skills.
Her story arc refuses to move forward as she torments her sister Sansa, wasting precious time over petty concerns, being the ungrateful Stark child, not unlike Percy Weasley in Potterverse.
For a girl with a list, she sure seems to be procrastinating a lot.
2. Three-eyed Ra-where?
For a character who sees everything in the past, present, and the future, we see very little of Bran Stark. No, really, why is the Three-eyed Raven chilling like a boss beside picturesque weirwood trees and not doing anything at all in the story?
Also, we get that Bran is annoying to be around these days, but surely Sansa and Arya should go looking for him by now? He's completely missing in this episode. This negligence better make Bran appreciate Hodor and Meera more.
3. The Hound of bastardvillehttps://media.giphy.com/media/3o6gEcURoGKvjYwwyA/giphy.gif
Moving north, beyond the wall, like Old Nan's tales, anything can happen. And by anything, we don't mean fantastic creatures or a random rainforest, but a wight providing comic relief.
As Jon and his suicide squad are stuck on an icy hillock, they are besieged on all sides by an army of wights. Their only safety net is that the wights are afraid of, quite literally, treading on the thin ice between themselves and Jon's boys. This fear though, is allayed when the normally sensible Hound throws stones at them, showing that the ice is isn't very fragile.
His stupidity, which can only be paralleled by Sansa crushing on Joffrey as a child, can get them all killed. And it should, except...
4. Nobody dies anymore
Noticed something strange about Season 7? Viewers haven't had that all-too-familiar violent reaction against the show, where we slam our laptop screens shut, screaming “WHY WHY WHY?!” or “I AM NEVER WATCHING THIS SHOW AGAIN!”
This is because Benioff and Weiss have obviously lost touch with evil incarnate George RR Martin. He's probably off on holiday pretending to write Winds of Winter again.
In any case, GoT has been saving more than killing. Think Jaime, Jon, Tormund, the Hound... Pretty much anyone who is staring at death. Tormund even has the best set up for an emotional end, what with his dreams of a future with Brienne. But no, Thoros dies of frostbite. Or polar bears. Or withdrawal from alcohol.
5. Anyone have the time?
Many have pointed out the obvious problem with time in GoT universe. But there has been never so glaring an issue as in Episode 6 this season.
Not only does Gendry makes it all the way back to East Watch, ravens are sent, Danaerys reads the SOS call, pulls out her fave White Walker theme party outfit, argues with Tyrion for a bit, rides on Drogon's back all the way beyond the wall... And Jon and co. just sit there, the whole time?
What are we, idiots?
6. MISSING: A loving pet and friend
Currently, Jon's like those #ForeverAlone guys who forget their dogs after finally getting a girlfriend. Not cool.
Ghost has been missing since before the Battle of the Bastards. Maybe he's chilling with Ramsay's hounds in Winterfell, we don't know. But the showmakers have clearly picked dragon over dog and that's a huge disservice to the Starks' backstory.
Nymeria showed up for a teaser, sure, but Ghost's continued absence is beginning to haunt us.
And speaking of missing creatures, where was Rhaegal when the Night King got Viserion? Do dragons need smoke breaks?
7. White walking free
Dany swoops down on the wights and her dragons roast them alive (dead?) to really satisfying background music. Very cool.
But how hard was it to direct some of that fire ire towards the White Walkers just casually bird-watching on the side? Very silly.
Viserion, if only you'd focused instead of showing off your cool flying skills.
8. The only other important-ish death
Can we all collectively facepalm at Benjen Stark's death, please?
That's all I have to say there. The season finale better make more sense.